|
Twitchy1
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Jasleen
State: California
Gender: Female
Interests: ^^^^^ I STOLE JENNO'S SEXYPANTS!^^^^^ (where are me knickers?) books, biking, tennis is meh (i don't care what you BLONDE people have to say about THAT) soccer is fun... friends are, how do i put this, unique? entertaining at the least?
Expertise: shtuff
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  iskabibble2002
Member Since:
6/1/2004
|
|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| psst... im really really BORED.... yeah.
finals suck butt
i hate them a lot
yeah
whatever. you moron. :D
Memorable Quotes from
Empire Records (1995)
Eddie:
Can I ask you something? Do you know where Harvard is?
A.J.:
It's near Boston.
Eddie:
No I mean, do you really know where Harvard is? It's another planet
man- another universe. Totally unlike the one we know. Filled with big
blond guys who eat ivy and row boats. What I'm trying to say is, you
and Corey just aren't made for each other. She's different from you.
[Wearing nothing but a MusicTown apron]
Gina:
Welcome to MusicTown, may I service you?
[Wearing nothing but a Musictown apron]
Gina:
I really think Musictown is torn on the revealing garment issue.
Lucas:
Mitchell's the man Joe.
Joe:
And the man calls all the shots.
Lucas:
Damn the man.
Joe:
Let me explain it to you. Mitchell's the man. I'm the idiot. You're the screw-up. And we're all losers. Welcome to music town.
Warren:
Me Joe, you Jane.
A.J.:
Joe, I need to ask your advice. Now I know you know a lot about love and women and all that sort of thing...
Joe:
Oh yeah, my wife left me for another woman and my girlfriend forced me to leave at gunpoint. Does this qualify me?
A.J.:
Oh yeah, definitely.
Lucas:
Joe, is it O.K. if I leave the couch? 'Cause I'm gonna leave the couch
now, okay? My ass is falling asleep, so I gotta go. I'm leaving.
[after Joe beats Lucas up in his office]
Joe:
Here.
[hands Lucas a washcloth]
Joe:
You deserved that, you know that.
Lucas:
Yeah, I know it.
Corey:
My dad always said that there's 24 usable hours in every day.
[Answering the phone]
Mark:
Empire Records, open 'til midnight, this is Mark.
[pause]
Mark:
Midnight.
[Corey left her bra]
Eddie:
You forgot your thingy.
Debra:
I went to rock and roll heaven, and I wasn't on the guest list.
Gina:
Lucas, what are you doing in here?
Lucas:
My life has reached its pinnacle. Joe is letting me close the store tonight.
Debra:
Hey Lucas, is it true you committed the perfect crime?
Lucas:
Not entirely perfect.
Eddie:
This music is the glue of the world Mark. It's what holds it all together. Without this, life would be meaningless.
Mark:
Hey, did you hear about Lucas?
Eddie:
Hey Lucas man, I hear you went to Vegas and you married a mobster's
wife and now you've got a hit on you and stuff. Is that true?
Lucas:
Not entirely true.
Eddie:
Well outlaw man, we solute you.
Lucas:
Thank you Eddie.
Eddie:
No problem.
Corey:
So is this how your life's gonna be now, huh? You're just gonna screw
every has-been until your tits fall down and they don't want you
anymore?
Debra:
No visible tatoos.
Gina:
No revealing clothing.
Debra:
We're both screwed. At least you're used to it.
A.J.:
Mark, listening to this crap is guaranteed to make you sterile.
Mark:
[under his breath] Maybe I want to be sterile.
Warren:
Who glued these quarters down?
A.J.:
I did.
Warren:
What the hell for, man?
A.J.:
I don't feel that I need to explain my art to you, Warren.
Mark:
Hey, Lucas. I've decided I'm going to start a band.
Lucas:
The first thing you need is a name. Then you'll know what kind of band you've got.
Mark:
Right, right. I was thinking about, um, Marc. How does that sound?
Lucas:
Is that with a C or with a K?
Mark:
Well my name is with a K, so I was thinking my band's name could be
with a C. That way it's kind of that psychedelic, you know, trip thing.
Lucas:
Always mess with their minds.
Debra:
I tried to kill myself with a Lady Bic. A pink plastic razor with daisies on it and a moisturizing strip.
A.J.:
You did have hair when you went in there, right?
Debra:
Yeah. It's still in the sink, if you want to glue it.
Corey:
I'm not like you, I don't need to do what you do with guys.
Gina:
Oh, I see, not like me, the turbo-slut.
Warren:
Why don't you take these CD's and shove them up your ass?
Lucas:
Because it would hurt a lot, Warren.
[Warren is being taken to jail]
Lucas:
Don't drop the soap, Warren.
Mitch:
Why do I get the feeling that I'm being royally screwed?
Joe:
Because you are, Mitch.
[Lucas has just gambled away all Joe's money]
Lucas:
I wonder if I'll be held responsible for this.
Lucas:
Joe, I think it's gonna be okay.
Joe:
What makes you think that?
Lucas:
Who knows where thoughts come from? They just appear.
A.J.:
Lucas, do you think it's possible for a person to be in love with someone else and not even know it?
Lucas:
In this life there are nothing but possibilities.
A.J.:
Well, that's good, because I have to tell Corey I love her by 1:37.
Lucas:
That's an excellent time.
A.J.:
What's with you? Yesterday you were normal and today you're like the Chinese guy from the Karate Kid. What's with you today?
Lucas:
What's with today today?
Joe:
Where's the money, Lucas?
Lucas:
Joe, the money is gone.
Joe:
I know it's GONE, where's it gone to?
Lucas:
Atlantic City.
Joe:
Atlantic City? Is it coming BACK from Atlantic City?
Lucas:
I... I don't think so.
Joe:
What's it DOING in Atlantic City?
Lucas:
Recirculating.
[Debra has just shaved her head]
Gina:
Well "Sinead O'Rebellion." Shock me shock me shock me with that deviant behavior.
Debra:
God, that is so clever. I swear you get smarter the shorter your skirt gets.
Joe:
Deb, what are you doing?
Debra:
I just wanted to have a little chat with Warren.
Warren:
Oh yeah? Well have a little chat with my gun.
Debra:
[into the barrel of Warren's gun] What do you want Warren?
Warren:
STOP CALLING ME WARREN. MY NAME ISN'T FUCKING WARREN.
Debra:
Well you can't kill me 'cause I'm already dead. And I talked to God,
and she says, "Yo, wassup?" and she wants you to lose the gun.
Warren:
What? You are psycho. You're a psycho.
Gina:
Attention Rex Manning fans, to your left you will notice a shoplifter
being chased by employee of the month, Lucas. This young man will be
caught, deep fried in a vat of hot oil and served to our first hundred
customers. Just another tasty treat from the gang at Empire Records.
Gina:
Oh no, Debra, don't be bitter, surely with your ever growing collection
of flesh mutilating silver appendages and your brand new neo-nazi boot
camp makeover the boys will come a-runnin'.
Lucas:
You know, someone like you needs to diminish their criminal impulses, not magnify them. Maybe some jazz or some classical.
Warren:
Maybe you bite me.
Jane:
Actually, his new album tested well among teenage males.
Lucas:
Jane, did you compare the percentage of teenage male Rex Manning fans to the incidence of homosexuality amongst teenage males?
Lucas:
In the immortal words of The Doors, 'The time to hesitate is through.'
Lucas:
The fat man walks alone.
Rex Manning:
Why don't you all just fade away.
Mark:
[into television camera] Damn the man. Save the Empire.
Lucas:
Joe, I can categorically say that you are not a bigger banana-head.
Gina:
Isn't it customary to leave the scene after committing the crime?
Debra:
Definitely an amateur.
[Joe is talking to the police about Warren]
Joe:
[to Warren] How old are you?
Warren:
Old enough to kick your butt through your skull and splatter your brains on the wall.
Joe:
[to the cops on the phone] Yeah, he's a juvenile.
Lucas:
I do not regret the things I have done, but those I did not do.
[about the CD's Warren tried to shoplift]
Lucas:
Rap, metal, rap, metal, and Whitney Houston.
Eddie:
They're my special recipe... and you know what that means... Lots of sugar.
Mark:
We mustn't dwell... no, not today. We CAN'T. Not on Rex Manning day.
Joe:
Could you please not sing, Mark.
Mark:
You know what Joe? One of these days, I'm gonna show you little people.
Joe:
Yeah, well on that day I'm gonna jump outta my wheelchair and do a dance.
Mark:
How 'bout today, huh? Rex Manning day.
Gina:
I don't know it's just something I've always been able to do.
Rex Manning:
Alright. What am I wearing now?
Gina:
Jockies. Navy Blue. Am I right?
Rex Manning:
I don't know.
Gina:
Well why don't you check it out, and you let me know.
Debra:
I guess nobody really has it all together.
Corey:
No.
Debra:
I feel like I should welcome you to the club or something. Anyway, did
you really want to do Rex Manning in the count-out room? Is that how
you always imagined your first time would be? Your back up against the
daily totals and your feet pounding against the safe- Oh Rexy stop
that. You're so sexy.
Corey:
Why are you being so nice to me?
Debra:
Let's save our Hallmark moment.
Lucas:
I used to pee in my bed. I did. I, I wet my bed until I was ten. My
mother turned me over to the county when I was ten to- not for being a
bed wetter- but for being a bad seed. Anyways, 3 years went by, then
Joe came. And he took me out, and I became the well adjusted person I
am today.
Jane:
What are you doing later?
Joe:
I don't know. I'm either going to jail or hell I can't decide.
Lucas:
$9104. I counted it... twice.
Lady at Craps Table:
I like your style.
Lucas:
[proud, humble] Well Joe told me to count it twice...
Lucas:
The long arm of the law has embraced our dear friend Warren.
A.J.:
...you know, I got to tell her that I, uh, well, you know, that I uh...
Joe:
love her.
A.J.:
Yeah, now how do I do that?
Joe:
You say I love you. What do you want, written instructions?
A.J.:
You know that feeling when you get out of a warm bath... well... you make me feel like a bath?
| | |
| lmfao, i haven't done this in like, half a year! alas, i have excellence to make you pee your pants..
"sometimes i pee when i laugh."
Katy:
Boon, I think I'm in love with a retard.
Boon:
Is he bigger than me?
[Watching Flounder take abuse at ROTC]
Otter:
He can't do that do that to our pledges.
Boon:
Only we can do that to our pledges.
Otter:
Let me give you a hint. She's got a couple of major-league yabbos.
Boon:
Norma!
Otter:
No. But you're getting warmer. Here's another: "Oh God, Oh God, OH GOD!"
Boon:
Marlene! You're gonna pork Marlene Desmond!
Otter:
Pork?
Boon:
You're gonna hump her brains out, aren't you?
Otter:
Boon, I anticipate a deeply religious experience.
Babs:
Greg, honey, is it supposed to be this soft?
Otter:
Flounder, I am appointing you pledge representative to the social committee.
Flounder:
Gee Otter, thanks. What do I have to do?
Otter:
It means you have to drive us to the Food King
Dean Vernon Wormer:
Greg, what is the worst fraternity on this campus?
Greg Marmalard:
Well that would be hard to say, sir. They're each outstanding in their own way.
Dean Vernon Wormer:
Cut the horseshit, son. I've got their disciplinary files right here.
Who dropped a whole truckload of fizzies into the swim meet? Who
delivered the medical school cadavers to the alumni dinner? Every
Halloween, the trees are filled with underwear. Every spring, the
toilets explode.
Greg Marmalard:
You're talking about Delta, sir.
Dean Vernon Wormer:
Of course I'm talking about Delta, you TWERP!
Dean Vernon Wormer:
The time has come for someone to put his foot down. And that foot is me.
Dean Vernon Wormer:
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
D-Day:
War's over, man. Wormer dropped the big one.
Bluto:
Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!
Otter:
Germans?
Boon:
Forget it, he's rolling.
Bluto:
And it ain't over now. 'Cause when the goin' gets tough...
[thinks hard]
Bluto:
the tough get goin'! Who's with me? Let's go!
[runs out, alone; then returns]
Bluto:
What the fuck happened to the Delta I used to know? Where's the spirit?
Where's the guts, huh? "Ooh, we're afraid to go with you Bluto, we
might get in trouble." Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm
not gonna take this. Wormer, he's a dead man! Marmalard, dead!
Niedermeyer...
Otter:
Dead! Bluto's right. Psychotic, but absolutely right. We gotta take
these bastards. Now we could do it with conventional weapons that could
take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all
out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile
and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part.
Bluto:
We're just the guys to do it.
D-Day:
Let's do it.
Bluto:
LET'S DO IT!
Flounder:
May I have ten thousand marbles, please?
[the Deltas have been expelled]
Bluto:
Christ. Seven years of college down the drain. Might as well join the fucking Peace Corps.
[Handed his first joint]
Pinto:
I won't go schizo, will I?
Jennings:
It's a distinct possibility.
[after Delta house is closed]
Doug Neidermeyer:
How does it feel to be an independent, Schoenstein?
Boon:
How does it feel to be an asshole, Neidermeyer?
[Flounder has just fired a blank cartridge near Neidermeyer's horse, and the horse has dropped dead]
Bluto:
Holy shit!
D-Day:
There were blanks in that gun!
Flounder:
I didn't even point the gun at him!
Bluto:
Holy shit!
[D-Day checks the gun]
D-Day:
There WERE blanks in that gun!
Flounder:
Maybe he had a heart attack.
Bluto:
Holy shit!
Flounder:
I can't believe I threw up in front of Dean Wormer.
Pinto:
Face it, Kent. You threw up ON Dean Wormer.
Hoover:
They confiscated everything, even the stuff we didn't steal!
Pinto:
I was thinking, maybe we could get some beer.
Clorette De Pasto:
Nah, not tonight. Besides, you might get lucky without it.
Dean Vernon Wormer:
Well, well, well. Looks like somebody forgot there's a rule against alcoholic beverages in fraternities on probation!
Otter:
What a tool.
Dean Vernon Wormer:
I didn't get that, son, what was that?
Otter:
Uh, I said, "What a shame that a few bad apples have to spoil a good time for everyone by breaking the rules."
Dean Vernon Wormer:
Put a sock in it, boy, or else you'll be outta here like shit through a goose.
[Clorette has just passed out]
Larry's evil conscience:
Fuck her. Fuck her brains out. Suck her tits, squeeze her buns. You know she wants it.
Larry's good conscience:
For shame! Lawrence, I'm surprised at you!
Larry's evil conscience:
Aw, don't listen to that jack-off. Look at those gazongas. You'll never get a better chance.
Larry's good conscience:
If you lay one finger on that poor sweet helpless girl, you'll despise yourself forever... I'm proud of you, Lawrence.
Larry's evil conscience:
You homo.
Clorette De Pasto:
Dad! Mom, Dad, this is Larry Kroger. The boy who molested me last month? We have to get married.
Otter:
Point of parliamentary procedure!
Hoover:
Don't screw around, they're serious this time!
Otter:
Take it easy, I'm pre-law.
Boon:
I thought you were pre-med.
Otter:
What's the difference?
[Addressing the room]
Otter:
Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be brief. The issue here is not whether we
broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with our female party guests
- we did.
[winks at Dean Wormer]
Otter:
Mandy, Mandy Pepperidge. I haven't seen you since we...
Mandy Pepperidge:
Go away!
Otter:
I'm sorry, I can only stay a minute. Can I buy you some lunch? Oh, you
got your lunch. Well, how about some milk? Got your milk too. Can I
just massage your thighs while you eat?
Mandy Pepperidge:
Do I have to leave?
Otter:
Is this any way to treat an intimate friend?
Boon:
I want you to fix Pinto up, but it's got to be a very special girl.
Pinto:
Look, you don't have to...
Boon:
Now, she should be good-looking, but we're willing to trade looks for a certain... morally casual attitude.
Katy:
You mean you want someone who'll screw on the first date.
Boon:
Well put. You see, Pinto's never been laid.
Pinto:
Hey!
Boon:
What'd I say?
Katy:
Is this really what you're gonna do for the rest of your life?
Boon:
What do you mean?
Katy:
I mean hanging around with a bunch of animals getting drunk every weekend.
Boon:
No! After I graduate, I'm gonna get drunk every night.
Boon:
It's not gonna be an orgy! It's a toga party.
Katy:
Honestly, Boon, you're twenty-one years old. In six months you're going
to graduate, and tomorrow night you're going to wrap yourself in a bed
sheet and pour grain alcohol all over your head. It's cute, but I think
I'll pass this time.
Boon:
Want me to go alone?
Katy:
Baby, I don't want you to go at all.
Boon:
It's a *fraternity* party, I'm in the fraternity. How can I miss it?
Katy:
I'll write you a note. I'll say you're too well to attend.
D-Day:
Hey, quit your blubberin'. When I get through with this baby you won't even recognize it.
Otter:
Flounder, you can't spend your whole life worrying about your mistakes!
You fucked up - you trusted us! Hey, make the best of it! Maybe we can
help.
Flounder:
[crying] That's easy for you to say! What am I going to tell Fred?
Otter:
I'll tell you what. We'll tell Fred you were doing a great job taking
care of his car, but you parked it out back last night and in the
morning, it was gone. We report it to the police, D-Day takes care of
the wreck, the insurance company buys your brother a new car.
Flounder:
Will that work?
Otter:
Hey, it's gotta work better than the truth.
Bluto:
[thrusting six-pack into Flounder's hands] My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.
Otter:
Better listen to him, Flounder, he's in pre-med.
D-Day:
[firing up blow-torch] There you go now, just leave everything to me.
D-Day:
We have an old saying in Delta House: don't get mad, get even.
Jennings:
Teaching is just a way to pay the bills until I finish my novel.
Boon:
How long you been workin' on it?
Jennings:
Four and a half years.
Pinto:
It must be very good.
Jennings:
It's a piece of shit. Would anyone like to smoke some pot?
Chip:
[being spanked as part of Sigma's initiation] Thank you, sir! May I have another?
Marion Wormer:
You can take your thumb out of my ass any time now, Carmine.
Dean Vernon Wormer:
Put Neidermeyer on it. He's a sneaky little shit just like you.
Hoover:
Will you tell those assholes to shut up?
Boon:
Hey! Shut up you assholes!
Dean Vernon Wormer:
As of now they're on Double SECRET Probation!
[in the supermarket vegetable section]
Eric 'Otter' Stratton:
Mine's bigger.
Marion Wormer:
[looks questioningly at him]
Eric 'Otter' Stratton:
My cucumber. It's bigger.
Eric 'Otter' Stratton:
I think vegetables can be very sensuous, don't you?
Marion Wormer:
No, vegetables are sensual. People are sensuous.
Eric 'Otter' Stratton:
Right. Sensual. That's what I meant. My name's Eric Stratton. People call me Otter.
Marion Wormer:
My name's Marion. People call me Mrs. Wormer.
Eric 'Otter' Stratton:
Oh, we have a Dean Wormer at Faber.
Marion Wormer:
How interesting. I have a husband named Dean Wormer at Faber. Still want to show me your cucumber?
Otter: Eric Stratton, damn glad to meet you.
| | |
| July 9th compadre, then it will almost have been a year, i thought we saw it a few days after (?)
# of songs up to a thousand-some
^_^
PEE HERE... on the greyhound bus?
oh dear, my doggy died Jenno, the one on my Sobe... 
oh well, c'est la vie
uhm... yes boredbored.... yes...
| | |
| *sigh
lethargic and tired
you people disgust me
good night frau (you know who you are)
i shall see you later frenchy ta-ta
| | |
| shopping is nice, but being forced out of bed at 8am when told you have to get up at 9 does not a happy camper make.
the joy of Bridget Jones's Diary and Helen Fielding in general:
Bridget: Am I a retread?
Mark Darcy (her bf): A retard? No,
darling, he said, patting my bottom reassuringly. A little strange,
perhaps, but not a retard.
---
(At Mark's house outside his bedroom door)
He pushed open another door, turned
on the light. I took one look then let out a big noise. There, in the
huge white bed, was a lithe Oriental boy, stark naked, smiling weirdly,
and holding out two wooden balls on a string, and a baby rabbit.
Chapter 3
DOOOOM!
12:15 a.m.
Why do these things keep happening to me? Why? WHY? The one time
someone seems a nice sensible person such as approved by mother and not
mad, married, alcoholic or fuckwit, they turn out to be a gay bestial
pervert. No wonder he didn't want me to go to his house.
(She fled home after two seconds of staring at the strange boy)
moments later...
Gaah! Telephone.
"Bridget. It's Mark. I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry. That was an awful thing to happen...... I know what it
must have looked like. I got as much of a shock as you. I've never seen
him before in my life."
"Well, who was he then?" I burst out.
"It turns out he's my housekeeper's son. I didn't even know she had a son. Apparently he's schizophrenic."
There was shouting in the background.
"I'm coming, I'm coming. Oh God. Look, I'm going to have to go sort this out. It sounds like he's trying to strangle her...."
next morning...
Mum: Anyway, how's Mark?
Bridget: He's fine, I said, in a
high, strangled voice, narrowly avoiding adding: he likes to sleep with
Oriental youths and fiddle with rabbits, isn't that fun?
---
(xmas time at the Jones family house)
her
bro and his gf of 4 years are sleeping in seperate rooms while their
parents on the brink of divorce are sleeping in the same bed so as not
to upset granny who is "a) insane and b) not here yet"
the next morning Granny has arrived
"Is that a chocolate biscuit?" said Granny, looking straight at me.
"Oh look, a penis," said Granny, holding up a giant tube of Smarties.
"Oh look. It isn't a penis, it's a biscuit," said Granny.
---
I remember when I first came to
London I used to smile at everyone until a man on the tube escalator
masturbated into the back of my coat.
---
8:15 p.m.
(receives a call
from a friend that he left his cell phone at her house, and she thinks
it's probably been thrown out with all of her self-help books, and she
must also get dressed for an ex-boyfriend coming over to visit)
"Well, can you go and get it?" he said eagerly.
"I'm really late. Can't I do it tomorrow?"
"But what if they empty the bins? What day do they come?"
"Tomorrow morning," I said with a
sinking, bitter heart. "But the thing is, they're those big communal
dustbins and I don't know which one it's in."
Ended up flinging a long leather
jacket on top of bra and knickers and going out into street to wait
till Tom rang the phone so could find out which it was in. Was just
standing on the wall peering into the dustbins when a familiar voice
said, "Hello."
Turned around and there was Mark Darcy.
He glanced down and I realized was standing with -- fortunately coordinated -- underwear on full display.
"What are you doing?" he said.
"Waiting for the dustbin to ring," I replied with dignity, pulling jacket around self.
"I see." The was a pause. "Have you been waiting... long?"
"No," I said carefully. "A normal amount of time."
Just then one of the dustbins started to ring. "Ah, that'll be for me," I said and started to try to reach into it.
"Please, allow me," said Mark, put
down his briefcase, leapt, rather agilely, on to the wall, reached into
the dustbin and picked out the phone.
"Bridget Jones's phone," he said. "Yes of course, I'll put her on."
He handed it to me. "It's for you."
---
Arrr, done for now
time for a few choice goodies from me:
dude, omfg Jenno, can you believe it's been nearly a YEAR since we saw it?
wow... that's shocking
teehee
^_^
w00t..
oh dear, seems i forgot to tell about Bridget eating massive amounts of SHROOMS whilst in... Thailand i believe.
that's ok, off to shop! ta!
btw, wanna play tennis blonde?   sadly enough im more than half serious about the offer
call me cell if you wanna reach me
| | |
|
